jkkitty (jkkitty) wrote,

My Partner, My Best Friend

Repost from 2013 Down the Chimney Challenge  Thanks to yelizaveta52 for her beta work!

Illya is frustrated with doing reports especially on Christmas eve and decides to celebrate his way. Can Napoleon make correct this problem?

Prompts: spiked (i.e. w/ alcohol) egg nog; deadline; gratitude
Optional Tags: Action/Adventure, Friendship, and Some Humor

It was Christmas Eve, and Illya was in an unpleasant frame of mind. Once more his partner had taken off without finishing the reports that were due by December 29th. While there were a few nights left before Waverly would look for them, he had been invited to spend Christmas Eve with Aunt Amy and Napoleon and didn’t want to put them off. Looking over at the pile of work once more, he decided that he would come in after Christmas dinner and finish them.

Illya left the office to see his wayward partner standing in the center of a group of woman laughing and delighting them with his tales of his latest adventures.

“I managed to get out unscathed. I have all my files updated, reports completed, and nothing to do for the next four days but have fun.” He looked at each woman hinting that he wouldn’t be alone when doing it.

Soon the next four days except for dinner with Aunt Amy later on that evening were filled with offers and opportunities from the surrounding women.

“Napoleon may I have a minute of your time?” Illya was not in the less pleased at what he saw.

“One moment, I just need to write this down. I don’t want to leave any of these sweet ladies in a lurk.

“Now!” Illya demand had Napoleon looking up in shock.

He hurried to his partner concerned something had happened.

“Does Waverly need us?”

“No!” anger dripping in his voice.

“What is the problem then? I was setting up an enjoyable time off. Something I think I deserve after our last couple of months.”

“You may have the time off but I have a desk full of OUR reports on MY desk that need to be completed. I would appreciate some help so that I can enjoy a little time off too.”

Napoleon remembered the pile he had noticed hurry out of the office earlier.

“Now don’t worry they’ll get done before they’re due.” He said glancing back at the women waiting for him with a ‘just need to talk to him a moment’ smile.

Turning back to Russian he said in an effort to soothe him, “Now don’t get into a snit. I’ll give you a hand.”

Arms crossing his chest and a look that threatened bodily harm, “I am not in a snit. I am just trying to do as ordered. You are pushing off your work on me once again.”

“Now wait one minute, I’m not pushing off anything. I said I would help get them done and I will. Go home and get ready, remember we’re having dinner with my aunt and maybe you can manage to set aside your irritation to enjoy the evening. You need to loosen up and live a little.”

A snort and rolling eyes was the only answer he received from his partner.

“Napoleon,” a sing song voice called, “Are you coming back to finish up our plans?”

Looking at his partner and then back at the women, his voice turning consolatory, “I’ll come in on the 28th and help you with them. Promise.” He crossed his heart before going back to the women.

“Remember dinners at seven. I’ll pick you up at six.” he called back over his shoulder to see Illya disappearing down the hall without another word.

Deciding to give the Russian some time to get over his huff, he offered his arm to the current woman on his list.


Moving the packages in his arms, Napoleon knocked on Illya’s door. When the door opened, he could see a half empty vodka bottle on the table.imagesCCJS9J7A_zpseba72ece[1]

“Did you start celebrating without me?” Napoleon smiled pushing pass his partner.

“I figured seeing you had started the holiday in your way already that I would start in mine.”

“Oh come on Illya. I told you I’d help with the reports. This is the first time I've had off in two months. At least you had a week off last month.”

“I was on medical leave during that time. I do not consider that time off. Now, what do you want?”

“I’m here to pick you up for dinner. Aunt Amy expects us exactly at seven.”

“Give my apologize to her, I will not be coming as I have decided that I will loosen up, as you suggested by the way.”

“What! She is expecting both of us. You can’t let her down. Look I’m sorry I left the reports. Okay, I shouldn’t have said what I did but I did promise to help what more do you want?”

Looking through eyes that were not focusing well, Illya tried to determine what to do. He really enjoyed these dinners and Napoleon did promise to help. But again he had promised before. He began to wish he hadn’t finished off one the first bottle of Vodka and started on the second.

“Nothing more from you,” he said. “I will go for your aunt, not you. Give me a few minutes to change.”

When he returned to the living room, he grabbed his coat and Amy’s gifts starting out the door, leaving Napoleon to lock up.


The car ride was full of quiet tension. Napoleon knew better than try to engage Illya in conversation. He hoped that when they reached Amy’s penthouse some of the chill radiating off his partner would warm up.

The elevator ride to the top of the hotel was no better. However when his aunt opened her door and called out Merry Christmas, Illya smiled for her. He clapped his heels together, bowed a little unsteady, and took her hands kissing each of them.

“Thank you for inviting me to your home again for dinner,” he smiled at her.

“Come in and have some eggnog and snacks. Napoleon, why don’t you behave like your partner?” she teased her nephew as he kissed her cheek.

“Maybe because I’m not as well fortified,” he whispered only loud enough for his partner to hear.

Although Illya heard him, he ignored the comment and followed Amy into the living room.

A beautiful decorated room was warmed by a flame from the fireplace. A ten foot tree was decorated with ornaments that he knew Napoleon had brought back from places they had visited. As he stepped closer to it, he smiled as he saw the spider web ornament he had given her the year before. Stockings were hung on the fireplace including one with his name on.

Although at times Illya considered his partner egotistical, when it came to his love of the holiday and his aunt nothing was too good for her and his friends.

Helping himself to some eggnog, Illya relaxed on the sofa. Napoleon sat across the room waiting until his aunt went into the kitchen to check on her cook and dinner.

He said softly. “I’m sorry Illya. I didn’t mean to leave you with the reports again. It’s just I love this time of the year and really didn’t think about them.”

“It is nothing new so I do not know why I am troubled. Just leave it for tonight. We will discuss it another time.”


“I will not discuss it now.” Illya said with a finalization that let Napoleon know he wouldn’t change his mind.

When Amy returned, the rest of the evening went well with dinner, gift opening from the men to her and her to them. The agents planned to exchange their gifts the next day.

During the evening, Illya refilled his glass frequently which worried Napoleon. He knew the Russian could drink vodka without a problem, But mixing it with the brandy and rum from the eggnog Napoleon wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

When Amy went into the kitchen, lllya went to helped himself to some more eggnog; Napoleon raised an eyebrow and said. “You know that’s Aunt Amy secret recipe. Although it’s a rich, creamy, and delicious version of the holiday drink, my aunt adds a lot of whiskey and rum to it. Maybe you should slow down?”

“And you are warning me because?”

“You did have a lot of vodka before you came. I’m not sure it's such a smart idea to mix the drinks.”

“I do not need you to babysit me Napoleon. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Is there anything else you would like to suggest I do today? Or would you like to make it an order?” the liquor overriding his ability to ignore his partner’s suggestions at times like this.

“I’m not criticizing you. I’m just concerned and worried.”

“I do not need your concern or worry. I am perfectly capable of knowing when I had too much to drink.”

The conversation ended as Aunt Amy came back into the room. Before too long she was giving them each a kiss and sending them on their way.


As they left the penthouse, Illya informed his partner he intended to walk home alone though he was more than a little unsteady on his feet.

“Illya, its cold and you’re not exactly firing on all cylinders. Let me drop you off.”

“Do not confuse me with your American idioms. I do not need or want your ride. Just go find the nice warm bed partner that is expecting you. I am going back to Headquarters and work on the reports.”

“Don’t be a fool. If Waverly saw you in this condition, he’d set your down for a month. Come on get into the car and let me drive you home.”

Napoleon then made the mistake of grabbing Illya’s arm attempting to turn him around. As the Russian turned, he brought up his right fist connecting with the American’s eye. Stunned Napoleon fell to the ground hitting his head unable to focus for a few minutes. By the time he could see straight, his partner was no place in sight.


Napoleon headed for headquarters watching for his drunken partner on the way. When he arrived he asked if Illya had checked in. Informed he hadn’t, the CEA requested that he be notified before admitting the Russian into the halls.

After two hours and no sight of his partner, Napoleon headed toward Illya’s apartment. Not finding him there, he tried reaching him on his communicator. Although angry with Napoleon, Illya would always answer it as he wouldn’t know who was calling. Getting no answer, Napoleon because very worried and asked Communications to give him his partner’s location. A few minutes later, he was informed that Illya was off tracer. Now more concerned, he told them to activate the tracer in his partner’s tooth.

When contact was finally made, he was informed that Illya was in the abandoned warehouse districts. Having the tracer piped into his communicator, he followed it in hopes of finding his partner at the end of it.


The warehouse was dark except for a window in the basement. Napoleon carefully crawled up to the window peeking in. His partner was strung up and being beaten by two rather large Thrush goons.

Listening for a moment he heard, “Come on Kuryakin, we need the information now and would like to get home to celebrate the holiday. Where is Napoleon Solo?”

Waverly, per his doctor’s orders, was planning a get away with his wife this year and Napoleon, who has being groomed for the position, would be in charge of UNCLE New York during the time. If they could catch Solo, they would be able to cause UNCLE considerable difficulty. Maybe it would even cause Waverly’s health to get bad enough to leave UNCLE almost without a local leader.

“No idea,” Illya said. “He has at least a hundred women to choice from, don’t know.”

The voice Napoleon heard sounded as if it was drunk. He knew that even though Illya had a lot to drink, he would’ve sobered up quickly when he was taken.

Suddenly cold metal touched his head, “Perhaps you’d like a closer look at what’s going on. Get up slowly, Solo.”

Standing he was pulled against the wall and searched his gun and communicator removed.

“Move it.” With a jab in the middle of his back, he headed toward the door.

As they entered the room, the beating stopped leaving Illya hanging.

“I believe you were looking for me,” Napoleon said in a conversational tone.

“How did you find us?” demanded the man Illya named the head goon.

“I’m sorry but I have a hard time thinking with my partner hung up like a side of beef.” Nodding his head Illya’s way.

“Let him down,” the man ordered.

Once Illya was down Napoleon ignored the men around him and walked over kneeling by his partner. Taking the battered face in his hands, Napoleon looked into the blue eyes. He could see they were clear. He believed Illya was faking the extent of his injures.

“Are you okay, tovarisch?”

“Stomach, sick.” A soft answer came back.

“Touching reunion. Solo get away from Kuryakin. Central wants to have a talk with the two of you.”

Napoleon stood up, but Illya couldn’t get up. When the American lowered his hand to help his partner, he was shoved away. One of the goons who had been beating him grabbed the Russian by the front of his shirt pulling him up.

As Illya’s feet came under him, he vomited all over the man. The distraction gave Napoleon the opportunity to take out the men by him. Illya went after the man who had lifted him and the ‘head goon.’ Soon the four men were down, and Napoleon was called for clean up.

As he turned around, Napoleon was in time to catch his falling partner. “Illya!”

“I think something is broken inside,” his mouth filling with blood.

Calling for medical, Napoleon held his partner’s head. Trying to keep his mind off what was happening to Illya, he teased.

“I have to say that is a unique way to distract Thrush, tovarisch.”

“It was taking you so long to make a move, I thought I better do something.” He said after coughing up more blood. “Thanks for coming for me,” Illya whispered as he passed out.

Soon the medical staff pushed Napoleon out of the way and quickly wisped the injured man away.


Napoleon arrived in Medical with two packages both for his partner. The last two days had been long with emergency surgery and complications, but now Illya was on the mend.

He handed Illya the first package.

“I do not have your present here.”

“I can wait. Now open this one first.”

Tearing the wrapping off, a box containing all the files from his desk were inside, “Really Napoleon, I do not think I can do finish these right now.” A smirk on his face.

“Oh you of little faith, look at the last page.”

Illya found the reports were completed and signed by Napoleon. Only a place for his signature was left.

“You finished them and a day early?” Surprised in his voice. “What about all your dates?”

“I postponed them. I couldn’t leave without knowing you’d be okay and needed something to fill the time. Just sign them and I’ll turn them in.”

After they were signed, Napoleon handed his the smaller package.

“Another one?”

“Will you please just open it?” Napoleon said with a little frustration.tieclip_zpsc8a5a627[1]

Opening the smaller package, he found a tip clip lay within. The silver clip had a small stone of Alexandrite Chrysoberly in the middle of the infinity symbol. Engraved on the back were the words Thanks for being my partner and best friend. Illya knew how rare the Russian stone was because of its ability to change colors. The crystal clear bluish-green would change in a purplish red in incandescent light.

“Napoleon, why?”

“I don’t often say how much I appreciate you and your partnership. I remember you mentioning how much someday you would like to be able to carry some of your country with you everywhere. I wished to give it to you. Now no more, your friendship means so much to me. Merry Christmas tovarisch.”

“And yours to me. С Рождеством Христовым мой друг (Merry Christmas, my friend).” Holding the box, Illya slipped back into sleep.

Tags: down the chimney 2013, jkkitty

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